But Wasn’t She Dating That Other Guy?

Life Through a Window
Photo by Alex Ivashenko on Unsplash

We’ve kind of known each other for a few years, and you’ve vaguely followed my photos, and now that you see I’m married you’re a little confused-

I don’t blame you, and I wish I had a more epic story for you, but it looks a little bit like this…

‘That other guy” as my previous boyfriend is affectionately known, and I had been wandering the earth together for a few years, but when we moved to New Zealand our relationship got really strained. We tried tried so damn hard to make it work, but it was mostly a shared history that was keeping us together. We were in a foreign place and it was easier to stick together than to admit that we were really alone.

He was a few years older than me, had no-interest in marriage and had completely different interests than I did.

I was coming close to 30 years old and realized I was living with someone who had no long term potential. Unlike him I really wanted a family. Maybe not kids right away, but I wanted to have someone to be crazy in love with who could see me as his ‘forever’.

Breakup Love Heart
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I really wanted to find my ‘forever’ person who would share a name and a family (and maybe a camper van and some adventures) with me.

My Ex, great of a person as he was, wasn’t that kind of person. We really cared about each other, but if I was honest with myself I would have realized we weren’t IN love.

It was one of those long drawn out breakups where you break up, then get back together again. Then at some stage you’re broken up but are still living together. Then you get back together 2 days after yet another breakup even though nothing has changed since you broke up 2 days before.

It was confusing and really miserable.

Eventually I decided that I couldn’t continue being half-happy. So we broke up once again, for real this time. I quit my job, and booked a one way flight to Bali and planned to leave NZ for the very last time.

Then, just before my departure I went to a gig and met a really handsome guitarist named Ben,
and a new story started from there

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