I am absolutely tired of feeling like I’m not good enough.
Rather than delving into my history to explore the root of why I feel that way, I would rather share my recent learning with you all and my plans for how I am choosing to confront this and move forward from now on.
You see, I’ve been this way ever since I can remember. No compliment given ever felt deserved. No accomplishment ever felt truly achieved. Relationships and friendships were hard to keep because I never felt like I was good enough for the other person, despite what they would tell me. It’s painful. It’s lonely and it’s self-sabotaging.
It’s much easier to tell other people that they are good enough. To tell myself I’m good enough is difficult. To believe it myself is nearly impossible.
I have no trouble telling others: “Your voice matters. Your actions count. You are loved by those around you. You’re beautiful just the way you are. Your work is outstanding, and you deserve your successes. Your accomplishments are what you deserve, and so much more. You’re amazing. Don’t stop being you.”
It’s easy to say these things when they’re directed at someone else. When I tell you these things, I believe them because they are true. But, believing I am deserving of these same words is a hard pill to swallow. Something I struggle to accept. I may not show it, and it may seem like I have my shit together, but like most other people, I struggle each day to simply be happy with myself.
But enough! I have had enough of being that way. Through a recent discussion with a psychiatrist about what you can do to stop these thoughts, we discussed how the brain works and how we as humans grow and develop. The shitty truth I learned from my discussion with her was, we cannot control our minds. BOO! Not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to end these thoughts by taking control and deciding what I think from now on. So, if I can’t do that… what can I do?!
This is what I, and you, can do:
1) Be aware of our thoughts as they occur and try to change them
2) Remind ourselves we are enough, and more than that
3) Make a conscious decision to accept ourselves as we are
This is no easy ask and it’s something that’s going to take a lot of effort. Our minds are a complex thing but reminding ourselves regularly that we are good enough is a great place to start at improving our own image of ourselves. I’ve been trying to work on this a lot recently. It’s been amazing how much more aware I’ve been as to the amount of times I’m hard on myself. The things I say to myself are incredibly shocking at times. I’d never say them to anyone else, so I don’t know why I think it’s ok to say them to myself.
To improve my way of thinking recently, I started using the 5-minute journal app. It sends me an alert at two times each day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. In the morning it asks for 3 things I’m grateful for. 3 things I plan to do to make the day great. And asks for affirmations.
In the afternoon, it asks me for 3 things that happened in the day. And asks what I would’ve done to have made the day better. You also have the option to add an image for the day. I’ve found myself grateful for so many things. And reflecting each day has helped me put things into perspective, stopping me from being so hard on myself. I don’t do it every single day but some days, I find reading old entries equally as helpful because reading what I wrote another day reminds me I have lots to be thankful for.
The positive affirmations are also so powerful. It should be no surprise that I’m a fan of positive quotes. I find them inspiring and motivating. I like to share them for my own self to reflect on but also for others to enjoy, should it also inspire them the way it inspired me.
It’s a constant struggle. Whilst I’m writing this post, I’m already second guessing myself but part of moving forward is to own my thoughts. I can’t stop my thoughts, but I can accept them and change them. So, yes. I’m posting this up and opening my heart and mind to you all. I’m making myself incredibly vulnerable and in doing so, I feel more powerful because I did it despite my worries about being so open. Hey… I’m only human, much like the rest of you.
And just to be clear… I am good enough. So are you!
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Note: I am not sponsored in any way by the 5-minute journal app. These are my genuine thoughts on the product.