“OH you are SO lucky!”
*insert eye roll* oh, piss off! Quit it with this “luck” business. It ain’t luck, sweetheart. It’s called hard work. How’d I get to where I am? I worked for it. How do I have the things I have? I, and my partner, worked hard and continue to work hard for what we have. It doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t get easier.
When you’ve worked really hard for something, it can be frustrating to hear people say how lucky you are or how they wish they had what you have. It’s frustrating because they clearly can’t see the blood, sweat and tears you’ve been through to get to where you are. They are looking at your life as a snapshot in time. A glimpse of what they perceive as perfect.
On one hand, it’s nice to be recognised for achievements but when it’s defined as ‘luck’ and not hard work, that’s when I feel like it’s not a true appreciation for what’s been achieved. Because, to me, what they’re saying when they say, “you’re so lucky” is that they’re saying it was all simply given to you. And that sucks because there’s a lot more to it.
One thing I’ve picked up over the years, particularly when being a people leader, was people’s inabilities to appreciate their own successes. They could see the success in others. It was easy to admire others for what they’d achieved and yet, when asked to reflect on themselves and what they’d achieved, they would struggle. I think this is where I developed the importance of affirming yourself of your own achievements. And likely why I struggle when people say, “you’re so lucky”.
I coached many staff into being more confident and affirmative when it came to themselves. A big part of that was owning their achievements, reflecting on the hard work it took to get there and proudly saying, “I worked for this. I earned it. I achieved it.” Being able to confidently recognise your own achievements, and proudly (not arrogantly) communicate these achievements, is one of the ways to ensure you’re recognised in the business world for the hard work you put in.
When someone says, “oh, you got that? How lucky!”, it’s okay to correct them and say, “yes, thanks to efforts put in by myself and the team, we achieved it. What a great success!”
To reaffirm the efforts put in is to help others recognise that if they want to achieve success as well, they need to see and understand the work put in to get the end result. They need to realise that it isn’t luck. No knight in shining armour is going to rescue you. Nobody is going to hand you success on a platter. You have to go out and achieve it.
So, when starting in my current role and talking with others. Especially when talking with others who said they applied for this role, they were curious how I got here. I’m sure they expected me to say generic responses such as worked my way through the company doing x or y. The reality, for the past year (as you guys know), I’ve been studying in my own time, as well as working. I proactively set out a plan for my own personal growth. No one ‘helped’ me. No one set out the plan themselves for me. It was up to me to decide what I wanted, how I was going to get there and to put in the work.
I had no idea it would lead to this new role. I simply knew what I wanted to do and set out a plan. I worked hard and I achieved. But this is not my end game. This is only the start. In order to continue to move forward, there needs to be a goal to work towards. It’s time for me to prepare for my next goal so I can keep progressing and developing myself, and appear ‘lucky’ to those around me. If you want something bad enough, take action. Don’t wait for something to happen to you. Make it happen. Put in the work NOW so you can enjoy the rewards at the end. Then, you too can sit back and laugh when people say, “you’re so lucky!” because you know it took much more than luck, but it was worth it!
PS: I recently completed my Diploma of Life Coaching with NZIBS 🙂