Married… But Dating

On your wedding day, it is very easy to see the world through those lovey dovey rose tinted glasses. You’re going to be in love forever, you’re going to be blissfully happy and nothing and no one is going to rock the boat and take away the solid footing that you have built your relationship on….. WRONG! Well… maybe. You may be in a unicorn marriage where there has never been any disagreement etc. But I’m betting that you have experienced the ups and downs of relationships like everyone else in the world. It is so easy to see everyone’s social media feeds and see the 2% of someone’s life that they’re willing to share with the world and think that everyone else has everything all together and it is just you that doesn’t. Don’t be fooled, everyone and I do mean everyone has their own mountains they need to climb.

 

We are not living in a fairy tale world, we are not just magically going to come out the other side of anything life throws at us unscathed. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that marriages last, I believe that marriages are meant to be forever. BUT… marriage is not and never will be a magic little piece of paper that means you no longer have to work at your relationship. People grow and change with life experiences and when you have two people growing together in a shared life you need to both be committed to working on your relationship every day and continuing to date each other!

When you become a parent, it is so easy to fall into the trap of working yourself to the bone to meet everyone else’s needs throughout all hours of day and night to the point where your once rose tinted view of your relationship is all but a distant memory and before you know it you’re really just nothing more than co-parents surviving day to day with no real substance in your relationship.

 

When you throw in huge life curveballs to the mix, particularly if these curveballs are one on top of another leaving you feeling like you’re struggling just to keep your head afloat, your already tapped out energy resources are further stretched beyond their limits and it is so easy to forget or neglect to work at your relationship because it so often isn’t prioritised in these situations.

 

How easy is it to get to the point where instead of rushing happily to greet your Hubby when he walks in the door after a long day at work, you barely glance in his direction or mutter some form of hello while carrying on doing whatever it was that you were doing ‘because things need to be done’ (am I right!), or you just hand him a child relieved to have your arms free if even for just a minute to recharge from being all touched out after a long day with the kids? Have a think back to your interactions with your Hubby when you were first in love, when you were first married… how have your interactions with each other changed over the years? Do you want to go back to ‘how things were before kids’?

 

If you are continually putting in that effort to put yourself and your relationship high on the priority list, all those life curveballs seem easier to handle because you are no longer subconsciously tackling this all on your own, you are subconsciously tackling it with someone by your side and you are supporting each other.

Newsflash… it’s ok to put your needs first! It’s ok to say you need to do something for you! We spend so much of our lives investing in others and living for helping everyone else, but you can’t help someone unless you help yourself first, if your cup is empty how are you going to invest in others? But that is another topic for another day.

 

Invest in your relationship friends, each and every day. Date your Hubby, date your Wifey, date your partner in life. Marriage is not a piece of paper that is a magic ticket to a happily ever after. Your daily commitment to each other and your marriage is your ticket to a happily ever after! So, bring out the candles, bring out the romance, pick your significant other a flower on the way home or bring home a treat just to let them know they have been in your thoughts, tell them how much you love them and what they mean to you.

 

“The grass is greener where you water it, I’m too busy working on my grass to notice if yours is greener”

 

Remember friends, date your significant other daily

 

Until next time friends,

Erin xx

Leave a Reply