You know when you hear a song sometimes, and the lyrics just make you think? Or you swear the lyrics could be about you and your life?
As I was driving home one day from work this week a song came on that really made me start thinking about how I want to adapt this kind of thinking to my life as a Mumma. Cheesy I know! Maybe it was that it had been a long day, maybe it was that I was tired, maybe it was that I was kind of dreading the hard work I was about to put my body through at the gym so was trying to distract myself. Whatever it was, I listened to it a couple of times and this relates to how I want us to raise our son.
This song had me dreaming about how our son, Tatum, may turn out and what he may find that he loves.
To give you some context, these are the lyrics…
I want our son to grow up knowing that he has made the choices he made with guidance from us, rather than us forcing him into a certain profession, sport, activity etc. I want to lead by example. I want to show him the way that we do life and hopefully he will see this and learn from it. I want to give him all the opportunities in the world to have experiences. I want him to discover what his passions are and help facilitate those passions. I want him to love life and not feel like we have pushed things on him.
How he sees the relationships around him and how we interact will be building an image in his mind even at this very young age of what relationships should look like. I asked myself the following… How do you want him to view a romantic relationship when he grows up? Do you want him to have grown up seeing you dance around the kitchen and having fun together, treating each other right and then model this behaviour in his relationships when he is older? Or do you want him to see a constantly tired couple who don’t have any fun and always put other things before our relationship and family time and think this is what the future of a relationship holds for him?
Pretty easy answer there!
What Tatum finds interesting and what he wants to pursue may not be what Nick and I have grown up loving. We may have loved rugby, climbing, netball, tramping etc etc. But Tatum may not enjoy these activities. That doesn’t mean we will never show him these things, not at all. What I am saying here is that we will show him these activities and let him experience these things and more, but we will not push these things on him and we won’t force him into things that he isn’t interested in.
I want to show Tatum the best I can, I want to show him there are so many things in life to love but I don’t want to make him do anything. I want him to see what we model and provide him the opportunities to find what he loves, pick it up and spin it and fit it to him.
I want to spend quality time with him, quality time as a family. Quality time to invest into his future self. I want him to show me the wonder of the world through his eyes! If he grows up seeing us model this behaviour and investing time in him (Hard to juggle everything in life I know! We are a family with full time working parents, one of which is on shift work!) my hope is that he will grow up secure in the knowledge that he can achieve what he wants to achieve and have quality time with family along the way.
When he is grown up, I want him to think of us and smile because although we made him, we never tried to make him pick it up.
Little bit of food for thought there.
What do you want to model for your children to see and hopefully pick it up?
Until next time friends,