Would you please just stop! Like, just stop and take a moment for yourself. Put yourself first for once. Kick back, relax, take it easy. Don’t worry about anyone or anything else. Just chill, step back and enjoy the moment.
WOW! Hang on a second! What do you think you’re doing?! You’ve so much to be doing! Couldn’t you help for once? You’re so damn lazy sitting there. Can’t you help someone other than yourself? You’re so selfish!
It never ends. The continual cycle of demands. The countless reminders to put yourself first but when you do, people make you feel guilty for taking a moment for yourself. It’s so frustrating, right!? But, is it them who make you feel guilty? Or, is it actually you?
One of the best sayings I have ever heard is, “should is shit!”
What do I mean ‘should is shit’? Well… You know those moments where you finally have a free hour or so and you think to yourself, I could spend this time reading that book finally or maybe I’ll just make myself a cup of tea and relax and then you begin to think about those things you should be doing like chores, work or responsibilities. Those times are when you need to tell yourself, ‘should is shit!’
It’s your time at the end of the day, and your life. No one else should have any say in how you choose to spend your time. If you want to have a cup of tea and read that book, then you do it. So what if you should be doing the chores, they’ll get done, AFTER you’ve had your time reading your book. You enjoy that moment. Don’t let thoughts of should ruin your time.
Self-care is so important and by taking that time to care for yourself and eliminate the pressures of life, you’ll feel better and get more done in the long run. But, first, you need to be ok with telling people no and with telling yourself that you’re going to take this time for you. You need to be able to push those thoughts of guilt out of your head because “should is shit!”
Recently, I needed to confront myself with this as I was getting annoyed with finally taking time for me and then feeling pressures of guilt because I should have been doing something else. After a while, I thought to myself, ‘no one else is getting as worked up as me, or cares as much as me… so why am I putting so much pressure on myself?!’ And that was the key – it was realizing that me, myself and I were the cause of my stress and the cause of my guilt. No one else. Sure, others probably have opinions that I could do more, help more, say more, whatever. But that’s their problem, not mine.
I shouldn’t stress myself over the opinion of others. I know what I should be doing but I also know myself better than anyone else. I also put myself through more stress than anyone else does. It’s terrible the torture we put ourselves through all because of this one word, ‘should’. So, f*ck it! “SHOULD IS SHIT!” Yeah, I should probably be going to the gym right now but f*ck it, should is shit! I’m spending time with family for the first time in a long time and that’s what’s important to me. ‘Should’ can kiss my ass.
Apologies for the language in today’s post but, as you can see, I feel strongly about this. I very rarely remember things I’ve heard once, I often need to hear them multiple times, but this is one thing I picked up from a workshop about 4 years ago and it’s never left me. It’s something I’ve needed to remind myself of over and over. So, I thought I’d share it with you today. Maybe it will help you as much as it’s helped me.