Where do I start?

I’ve been watching Reign lately which is a television show based around Queen Mary of Scotland.

The greatest thing I noticed about this show was that when the women supported each other, they were stronger. They achieved more, spoke more and appeared to feel more empowered. In a time dominated by men, where women had little power, it was quite inspiring to watch. Even though the stories on this show are written by someone today, it still brought strong connections to the truth that, when women support each other, great things happen.

Unfortunately, women all over the world are still tearing each other down. We judge each other based on looks. We make assumptions and spread gossip. We are quick to lay blame. We are our own worst enemies. We say that we want the support of our men, but we really need the support of each other as well to push through this and move forward to a happier, more united world.

You can try to deny it, but I see it everywhere. I’m also a guilty culprit at times. I try to be supportive but there are times when I catch myself looking at another and thinking the worst. I’ve begun noticing myself doing it more and more which I believe is a good thing…

How can noticing myself being judgmental towards another be a good thing?

Because self-awareness is the first step to taking action. Being aware and being present of mind while I’m in the act is the first step towards thinking clearly about my actions and making changes for the better. By knowing what I’m doing, while I’m doing it, I can pro-actively make a choice for the better.

Earlier this week, I was running a workshop and during the workshop, I began to make an assumption about an attendee. They were quite vocal and had differing views to me. I struggled for some of the session to connect and it was half-way through when I realised the problem. The problem was not with her. The problem was me. I was quick to make a judgment about what I believed she thought. I labelled her in my mind without getting to truly know her.

It was at this point I made a choice to stop that thought. To be more open. In breaking the group down and talking with each person individually during an activity, I was able to build a connection with her. I quickly discovered she was seeking my guidance, not opposing my view. By asking the questions she was asking, she wasn’t being difficult, she was challenging my lesson. This was her way of breaking the information down and understanding how she could apply it to herself.

When the workshop ended, she stood up and thanked me. Not only that, as I observed all the other attendees, who were all women, I was blown away by how positive and motivated they all appeared as they stood to leave. All of them glowing and speaking words of gratitude for the lesson. Not just for what I helped them to learn, but for what they taught each other throughout the session.

These women, complete strangers at the start of the day, had built a bond through the workshop. Breaking barriers, sharing personal stories, and extending support for each other. Watching them empower each other, and seeing the good the positivity spread, I left feeling great myself.

When women get together and support each other, great things really can happen.

I’d love to say, “don’t judge others”, but the reality is, we will. We all do it. But, we can begin to be aware of our actions, thoughts, feelings and start making changes for the better. When you find yourself judging someone or thinking something unpleasant, ask yourself why? Do you have a reason to think this way? Is it helpful to think like this? What would be a better thought?

To start supporting each other and to start making positive changes on the world, we must start with ourselves first. Having self-awareness is knowing ourselves and understanding why we act or think the way we do. But knowing ourselves without making positive changes isn’t much help. We must make a choice for the better. We need to actively choose to change our thoughts, feelings or actions. In doing so, we can begin to make positive change on the world.

Thank you Brit Army x

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