You know who I mean. She is who you think you need to be, the epitome of perfect in your eyes and everything about her makes you want to throw up…. the relentless questioning of yourself, am I doing a good job when she seems to have it all together and I’m not even close? Why are her kids sitting nicely in the supermarket trolley and mine is currently trying to escape? How is she out of the house with kids in tow right now with perfect hair and makeup while I’m out with the quintessential Mum-bun and no makeup?
I’m going to stop you there! Stop comparing yourself to her, right now, just stop! Stop judging yourself and stop judging her.
She is not your competition, never has been and never will be.
We need to become a society that lifts people up rather than drags people down. Why can’t we look at a situation where a Mum is out with kids in tow, messy hair and short fuse with her kids and think “wow, she is doing her best for her kids and must have had a difficult day!” (because we all know those difficult days don’t we Mummas!) rather than automatically judge her for that snapshot into her life you see. You don’t know her and you don’t know her situation, there may be hours and hours of gentle parenting behind that 30 second encounter you see.
Lets all remember that the moment you are judging her for, is just a moment in time, just a snapshot, not the entire picture. Much like social media… so often you only get a snapshot of the best moments, the highlight reel if you will. Not the entire picture.
The only thing you will get by comparing yourself to others, comparing yourself to unrealistic ideals of what you see as perfection, is unhappiness.
Friends, lets replace this judgement of ourselves with Trust, Love and Kindness.
Trust in yourself. You are enough. You are amazing. You are incredible. You are doing it! Whatever it is you are fretting about, take a minute to take a deep breath, relax and trust in yourself that you can do it. Trust in yourself and you will see a difference. You are doing it Mumma!
Love yourself. Too often you are caught up in making sure everyone else is ok and everyone else’s needs are met. Don’t forget yourself. Love yourself enough to recognise your need to fill your own cup as it were. You need to invest in yourself and love yourself too. Take time to fulfil your needs Mumma!
Be kind to yourself. You may not be where you want to be at, whatever your goal is. Keep working at it, allow yourself the kindness you would give others, or give your child when they are trying to reach their goals. You get alongside your child and encourage them towards their goals so why can’t you do the same for yourself. Be kind to yourself Mumma!
Stop comparing yourself to her!
Until next time